I had to create tiny figments of your memories instead

because the fulsome ones were swallowing me whole 

and I couldn’t sleep any more and

there were too many tears and I was afraid

of being unable to function, of failing, of falling

and I don’t want this and I am praying for something,

anything to help pull me through so I can simply exist,

or exist the way I did, the way I used to

before you slowly dug this shrapnel close to my lungs

that’s making it hard for me to breathe and I’m losing focus on what is

truth and what were the lies and if ever you were here

and if ever you loved me.

[by À.Dé] 

I envy every material fibre

That sees you as you sleep

For I am falling asleep trying

To remember your facial expressions

And I worry of a time where I’ll be

Unsure exactly how you look(ed) and

Those fibres get to stare at you forever

I guess what I’m saying is

I miss looking at you

But I also hate that I feel this way

[by À.Dé] 

Now you’re yelling at me saying “Do you know what we have is rare?”

Yes. I very much do. You know deeply that I have always known. 

I may have been younger than you, and you may have played a game with my life but I was wiser than you then. I was always wiser than you.

I am sorry it took you so long to see. I will forgive you this betrayal.

I hereby cease being our broken record, this is my very last hurrah.

[by À.Dé] 

Look here - someone found her hands and bag on Fashion Magazine (+ a full look …) | celebrating the launch of Women In Clothes - the launch, the authors and the book - all excellent!